Libra — Ed Sheeran is the only one who understands your melancholy.
Taurus — Gluten-free diets lead to clear skin but poor testicular health.
Aquarius — 6(nine).
Pisces — Habitat loss is the primary effect of deforestation.
Cancer — Embrace your Shetland pony side.
Scorpio — Reconsider your investment in dog-themed enamel pins.
Leo — Transcend the mundane; add healing crystals to your morning coffee.
Gemini — Relax and listen to the soothing sounds of a Volvo’s car alarm.
Virgo — It’s okay to be Canadian.
Aries — Practice self love by slowly assuming your crush’s identity.
Capricorn — Watch out for question #3.
Sagittarius — Blow it.