Astrology Corner

Humor by

Libra – Nourish your soul by entering the exciting world of orange-scented soap production. 

Aries – Beware of children.

Sagittarius – Be kind to ugly people today.

Pisces – Open sesame. 

Scorpio – Bathing in the blood of your enemies is great for oily skin.

Taurus – Try again next week.

Leo – Assert your dominance over the sun by refusing to support Big Sunscreen.

Capricorn – How can you be more like the drummer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Gemini – Use citrus-scented soaps at your own peril.

Cancer – Accept a stranger’s kindness, you’ll only sort of regret it. 

Virgo – Be the hero of your own story and the wet blanket of someone else’s.

Aquarius – Ward off evil with garlic-infused Axe Body Spray.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

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