Humor by Simran Tandon
Libra – Be the revolutionary who starts the brand new, pebble-based economy.
Aries – Watching CoComelon is a surefire way to achieve inner peace.
Sagittarius – Avoid revenge-seeking crows.
Pisces – Rate your partner on their willingness to commit tax evasion.
Scorpio – Mr. Bean will be your guiding light.
Taurus – Your aura resembles that of a prehistoric turtle-frog.
Leo – Try fatalism.
Capricorn – Medium roast coffee is inauspicious this week.
Gemini – Shhhhh.
Cancer – Let your heart become a home for flea-ridden cats.
Virgo – Now is the time to enter the lucrative business of alpaca farming.
Aquarius – Stevia will be your downfall.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.