Humor

Breaking: Anna Wilson is Russell Wilson’s sister

March 31, 2021, 9:26 p.m.

The Occasionally has independently confirmed that Stanford fifth year guard Anna Wilson is, in fact, the sister of Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. 

Despite what you may have heard every five seconds on ESPN’s broadcast of Stanford women’s basketball, no outlet had confirmed this extremely important information, which is by far more important than any action occurring on the court. 

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, Anna Wilson’s brother was unable to attend games before the postseason. In the Pac-12 Tournament and NCAA Tournament, Stanford is plus-174 in six games, with Anna Wilson’s brother in attendance for all six.

A study by Sports Media Watch showed that Anna Wilson’s brother was on screen for 73% of Stanford women’s basketball broadcasts.

There has been much offseason speculation about where Anna Wilson’s brother would play next NFL season. Sources close to Anna Wilson’s brother speculate that he may take the season off in order to appear on every WNBA broadcast of Anna Wilson’s future team.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Contact the Humor section at humor ‘at’ stanforddaily.com.

Daniel Martinez-Krams '22 is a staff writer in the sports section. He is a Biology major from Berkeley, California. Please contact him with tips or feedback at dmartinezkrams ‘at’ stanforddaily.com.

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