Libra — Ed Sheeran is the only one who understands your melancholy.

Taurus — Gluten-free diets lead to clear skin but poor testicular health. 

Aquarius — 6(nine).

Pisces — Habitat loss is the primary effect of deforestation.

Cancer — Embrace your Shetland pony side.

Scorpio — Reconsider your investment in dog-themed enamel pins.

Leo — Transcend the mundane; add healing crystals to your morning coffee.

Gemini — Relax and listen to the soothing sounds of a Volvo’s car alarm.

Virgo — It’s okay to be Canadian.

Aries — Practice self love by slowly assuming your crush’s identity. 

Capricorn — Watch out for question #3.

Sagittarius — Blow it.