North American Interfraternity Conference rebranding as Meta Housr

Humor by Cassidy Dalva
Jan. 31, 2022, 9:23 p.m.

Leading up to this year’s rush of potential pledges, the North American Interfraternity Conference is rebranding itself with a new name: Meta Housr. The move comes in response to heightened criticism of fraternities by voices such as the Abolish Greek Life movement, which alleges that fraternities are outdated and exclusive institutions. Leaders of fraternities on campus at Stanford, including Sigma Nu and Phi Kappa Psi, hope the rebrand will sway public discourse about Greek life and encourage more prospective students to rush.

According to a statement released by Meta Housr, the changes that will be instituted include an increased commitment to “securing financial independence through passive income flow” and planning “inclusive, communal events in the Metaverse.” A number of appointees have joined Meta Housr to achieve this goal, including Josh Wang, a former software engineer and current head of Meta Housr’s newly-created non-fungible token (NFT) division. Meta Housr is expected to roll out a limited number of frat-themed NFTs in the coming weeks in honor of this season’s rush.

“New drop in 12 DAYS!! 🚀,” Wang tweeted last Thursday at 2:10 a.m. in a post that accrued thousands of retweets and likes.

Fraternity leaders are also emphasizing the role that climate justice and environmental conservation will play in the new vision for Meta Housr. The organization’s statement noted that, in a commitment to “tackling environmental crises like deforestation,” fraternities are doing away with the use of paper wristbands to invite guests to parties and events. Instead, guests can attend augmented reality fraternity events using non-fungible passes developed with the help of blockchain technology, which will require thousands of kilowatt-hours of electricity.

Leaders of the Abolish Greek Movement are skeptical of the rebrand, raising concerns about Meta Housr’s accessibility and affordability and arguing that the rebrand fails to address underlying concerns about exclusivity or unsafe hazing practices. Nevertheless, fraternity members remain optimistic that changes are on the horizon.

“Meta Housr is more than just a name,” fraternity member and junior Chad Wallace explained, sporting a Doge-coin emblazoned watch. “It’s about a vision for a techno-utopian society.”

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Cassidy Dalva '25 is a desk editor for the University Desk in the News section. She also serves as The Daily's Staff Development Director. A prospective economics major from Los Angeles, California, Cassidy enjoys singing and spending time outdoors in her free time. Contact her at [email protected]

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