Week 1 Bucket List

Humor by Uche Ochuba
Sept. 28, 2022, 11:19 p.m.

Hello trees! The illustrious halls of the Stanford Occasionally bring you a list of fun relatable week 1 activities to do with your friends and say “that’s so me!” Put a finger down for each fun and quirky activity you have completed!

  • Hit the fountains! They’re just a hop and skip away!
  • Shiver and catch a cold biking back late at night
  • Arrive late to a class after walking in circles, unable to find the room, swearing that it was in a different location last year
  • “I’m ready to be done; today feels like a Friday”. On Monday. Morning.
  • Sit down by yourself in the dining hall with another plate of vegan Chick’n, questioning your own sanity
  • Achieve existential crisis after finishing a Locke reading for your philosophy class during said meal
  • Throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demons which surround you
  • Grab a coffee at Coupa with the day-ones. Win!

Anyway, we hope you enjoyed this innocuous list. See you on the bike paths!

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Uche Ochuba '24 is the former desk editor for humor and a contributing writer in the sports section.

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