The No. 1 seed Cardinal (11-0, 7-0 Pac-12) continued their unbeaten women’s lacrosse run Saturday afternoon in the Pac-12 Championship against the No. 3 seed Colorado (8-7, 4-3 Pac-12). The dominant performance saw Stanford on top 17-10 by the final whistle.

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Rest easy, your esteemed colleagues at The Occasionally are here to spot you.

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HUMOR: “This year, there have been at least four deaths [from gender reveal parties] so far, putting them on par with shark attacks in terms of risk of death.” -James Felton, iflscience.com.

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HUMOR: Though I was highly motivated to teach, I think I just overcommitted this quarter and will be going to seek further support.

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We get it, Stanford, you like to go the extra mile, but the full-length article, screenshots, quotations and details about the software involved were a bit excessive.

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HUMOR: After penning hits such as “Across the Flat Earth in 40 Days” and “What to Expect when you’re Expecting your Election to be Stolen," I am here to provide conclusive evidence on the greatest issue of our time.

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SATIRE: “No one is more aware than me that there’s so much hurt around us, and I wish there was something I could do to make it better. It really makes you feel powerless.”

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