Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Amidst a four-game losing streak, Head Coach Troy Taylor has announced the adoption of a new strategy meant to turn around another mediocre season. The new method, dubbed “The Flop” instructs players to take a page out of FIFA’s book and, in Taylor’s words, “tactically simulate an injury.”

“This is going to be a game changer for our boys on the field,” Taylor continued. “It’s dynamic. It’s really the future of the game.” When asked to elaborate on how this strategy will translate into wins on the field, Coach Taylor collapsed to the ground, seemingly suffering from a spontaneous ACL tear.

The Cardinal football team’s training regimen has been drastically restructured to accommodate this new approach. Players described arduous hours of feigning injuries ranging from sprained ankles to broken noses. Both the offensive and defensive lineup have been familiarizing themselves with the NCAA rulebook in order to maximize flags per play. 

The Arrillaga Family Sports Center has also been retrofitted with a state-of-the-art Flop Facility. The Daily received a behind the scenes tour into the multi-million dollar project containing angry helmeted faces pinned onto goose down pillows and cardboard cutouts of referees. Stanford football has also looked to the Theater and Performance Studies Department for lessons from actors and contortionists alike to perfect the art of playing as little football as possible.

The biggest question remaining is whether The Flop can successfully break Stanford’s three-season losing streak against the Golden Bears in November. With one more month to perfect their innovative tactic, the Cardinals are looking forward to a BIG Flop at the Big Game.