Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Author’s Note: Dear Stern Dining, Lime Jello sucks. Sincerely, Garrett Khatchaturian.

What does it mean for one to be desired?

I fear it comes from feeling one belongs

In all the places we return when tired

Of tasks depleting. Safety from the throng.

I know a peer who’s wanted ev’ry day

By people old and young and bold and shy.

They look at him. From me they turn away.

As they indulge, their troubles say goodbye.

Cannot I be of consolation too?

Is my green package not a lovely sight?

They always ask for red or orange. Why do

They not see I can be a sweet delight?

I fear I may be running out of time

For no one asks for Jello flavored lime