Roxy preaches two things in life: never end a clause with a preposition, and choose your sexin’ music carefully. A well-selected playlist is vital in edging the mood along — nothing quenches a loin-fire quite like a Pandora ad or an unfortunate shuffle selection. And for guest bedfellows, nothing reveals more about your host than his or her music choice when the lights get dimmed. Trust Roxy: Bone Thugs ‘n’ Harmony may bring harmony when boning thugs (sometimes Roxy likes to live dangerously), but a myriad of other choices abound below.
Tenacious D — Fuck Her Gently
It’s the anthem of a man who knows how to do a woman correctly and thoroughly. Roxy appreciates how Jack Black walks her partner through all the steps: first do it gently, then “some smooches, too,” but cap it off with a round on the rough side. Well played.
Marvin Gaye — Sexual Healing
This classic’s power can never truly fade, but it’s also the obvious choice. If this gets cued up on iTunes, expect the basics performed with tender, lovin’ care, but no surprises here — that is, this is music for a gentle rocker, not a shocker. Bonus: for the same sentiment but suited for sex on the beach, try Ben Harper’s cover.
Joss Stone — Put Your Hands On Me
For the woman who wants to send a not-so-subtle message with a song that’s upbeat enough for afternoon delight in springtime. Joss Stone belts the titular command at least a dozen times; if the intended hands are not being put anywhere by the end of the song, Roxy knows it’s time to move onto someone who obeys orders a little more readily (or maybe move onto a song that’s more direct: “Harder Better Faster Stronger,” perhaps?).
The National — Green Gloves
If he plays this song while getting it on (or any Radiohead, really), he’ll probably cry afterward. Consider yourself warned.
R. Kelly — Sex Planet
It’s the best way to launch your liaison into outer space. R. Kelly has a giant rocket, and he wants to taste Roxy’s Milky Way. This song’s puns get Roxy’s planets orbiting, and if played at the proper moment, it’ll make that comet streak across the sky.
Jimi Hendrix — Catfish Blues
The legend’s version of this blues standard will make the ladies yelp along with the growls of his guitar. Along the same lines, encourage a silent girl to loosen up with a little Girl Talk — you might even get her to twist and shout if the mix samples some Fab Four.
The Beatles — Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
Roxy has. It was gritty — nothing like curling your toes into asphalt and walking away with a few extra scratches on your back. You’re welcome to toot Roxy’s horn anytime.