Because they haven’t made flags long enough to play flag football socially distanced, we chose instead to hold a friendly online fundraising competition. And while The Stanford Daily put up a good fight, we must admit defeat to The Daily Californian.
SATIRE: The Stanford Occasionally is getting in the holiday spirit by giving you all an unwarranted, unappreciated and definitely unwanted “Naughty or Nice” list.
SATIRE: A professor, going through a divorce, speaks on the election, and we explore the newest Stanford department: Spooky Studies.
SATIRE: Researchers at the Algernon Lab endeavor to do shit to mice; social justice correspondent Myckenzyie Triskett checks in with geese.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.