Friday, February 6th, 2026

Account

Picture of Garrett Khatchaturian

Garrett Khatchaturian

Garrett Khatchaturian is the Vol. 269 Humor Managing Editor. Contact him at humor 'at' stanforddaily.com or by knocking on his door. He'll know you're arriving.
Humor
Tree helps bear

Letter from the Humor Editor: Satire in the Satirical Age

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Feb. 2
Humor
"Would you vote for me if it was?" Gavin Newsom speaks to reporters to promote himself as well as a new crime bill (Photo: GAGE SKIDMORE/Flickr)

Newsom says: ‘Three strikes, four balls’

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Jan. 30
Humor
An SUDPS car parked in front of Memorial Church.

Police: Chekhov’s gun seized

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Jan. 12
Humor
With each passing second your grade falls down one whole letter grade. (Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

Style guide for your paper due in 24 minutes

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
May 22
Humor
The page on which I wrote the funniest article ever mere moments before gracefully receiving my words. (Graphic: GARRETT KHATCHATURIAN/The Stanford Daily)

I wrote a humor article too funny for you.

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
April 23
Humor
Sen. Feinstein attends an event to announce her 2026 bid for CA Governor. (Graphic: GARRETT KHATCHATURIAN/The Stanford Daily)

‘A win for necrocracy’: Dianne Feinstein announces 2026 campaign for Governor of California

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
April 8
Humor
Just tap in, just taaaaap it in. (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)

Stanford croquet frosh bests star of Cal Poly

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
March 31
Humor
I know you want to open the Jell-O, but trust me, it's not worth it. (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)

The news is too depressing, so here is a poem about a pack of Jell-O

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
March 31
Humor
These are movie reviews, but this time, by a frat guy. (Graphic: ANANYA UDAYGIRI/The Stanford Daily)

White guy goes to the movies, reviews ‘LOTR’ and ‘Get Out’

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
March 31
Humor
The trolley problem, with the Caltrain as the trolley

Caltrain kills one, saves five

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
March 31
Humor
A cartoon Uncle Sam with bulging eyes points his finger at the viewer.

Doctor’s orders: Drink less, smoke more, Stanford!

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Feb. 19
Music
A Renaissance-esque photo of women sitting.

Love, situationships and everything in between: Songs for Valentine’s Day

Madisyn Cunningham, Joanne dePierre, Ellaheh Gohari, Garrett Khatchaturian, Blyss Cleveland, Ananya Navale and Cate Burtner
  •  
Feb. 13
Humor
a cartoon pole surrounded by exclamation marks.

The Daily acquires 10-foot pole for controversial reporting

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Feb. 6
Humor
Graphic of a dental checkup room, with a figure in the foreground.

Scared of the dentist? Here are some strategies to cope

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Feb. 4, 2025
Magazine
Six people sitting around a table

Canadian, Greenlandic students are no longer considered international, University says

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Jan. 31, 2025
Humor
The new graphic for SHPRC's newest program, 'Chaste Week' (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)

SHPRC abandons Sex Week after dorm, roomcest increase

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Jan. 26, 2025
Humor
A Cactus in the Arizona Garden.

Demon haunting campus found to actually be a pretty chill dude

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Nov. 4, 2024
Humor
(Graphic: MICHELLE FU/ The Stanford Daily)

Tensions rise between campus Federalists and Democratic-Republicans ahead of election

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Oct. 31, 2024
Humor
Football player lays down on the ground.

Stanford Football debuts new strategy: ‘The Flop’

Garrett Khatchaturian
  •  
Oct. 22, 2024
The Stanford Daily

Login or create an account