Last week, in what was described by Stanford Facilities Management Department (SFMD) authorities as a routine procedure, the light at the top of Hoover Tower was replaced. “It was getting old and was horribly inefficient,” said May Entanance, director of the SFMD. The new light, which is manufactured by a local Bay Area company, was…
The latest season of the U.S. government is yet to conclude, but, after last week’s riveting impeachment trial, the show’s producers have already announced their intentions to renew the blockbuster TV hit for another season.
SATIRE: For those students with five-star passenger ratings, finding someone with whom to share an Uber is not so simple.
SATIRE: Yesterday, a spokesperson for President Mark Tessier-Lavigne announced that, just as the president of the U.S. pardons a turkey for Thanksgiving, the president of Stanford will pardon a California tiger salamander to stop Arrillaga Dining from using it as a meat substitute.
SATIRE: Stanford’s open-door alcohol policy will now have 100 percent adherence in FloMo, as upperclassmen have removed all the doors in the complex.
SATIRE: The frosh is doomed, so it seemed, to be trapped in a cage of their own making — a cage constructed of color-coded notebooks, thick glasses and introversion. That is, until Ronny Santanac went on his dorm’s traditional San Francisco scavenger hunt last weekend, and got a tattoo.