Biden, USA decide to elope
President-Elect Joe Biden announced that he and the USA will be forgoing the traditional inauguration, opting instead to elope in the Sierra Nevada.
Michelle Fu
Realistic resolutions for your 2021
2020 is over! Somehow everything is even worse. Throw your grand ideas about “working out more” and “getting good grades” into the trash because here are five realistic resolutions you should set for this new year.
Millions of Americans suddenly confused as to what to do with newfound knowledge of Georgia
SATIRE: “Prior to November third, if you pointed a gun to my head and asked me to point out Georgia on a map, I’d be dead in an instant. I miss those days.”
My math professor apparently reads my articles, so I’m writing this one just for her
IMPORTANT: this article is for Professor Venkatesh only! If you aren’t Professor Venkatesh, what are you even doing on this page!
Student resolves that he’ll raise his grades right before taking fifth consecutive self-care day
Minutes after pledging to himself that this would be the quarter his GPA went up, Jason Lin ’23 could be found lying on his bed, deeply entrenched in rat videos on TikTok as a Twitch Minecraft stream played in the background.
Student tries to profess love for hot TA through pointed questions in Zoom chat
Stanford may be virtual, and students may be Zooming from their childhood bedrooms, but still, against all odds, feels still find a way to flourish.
New frosh shocked when Vice Provost Sarah Church enters their homes during NSO
Stanford frosh everywhere were startled and confused during NSO when the new Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education suddenly emerged from their electronic devices like the girl from “The Ring.”
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